Echoes

It was time to leave the real world behind for awhile.  At least this was her intention as she sat down to write.  It was time to escape into her world of imagination-of fantasy.  Now is when that song pops into her head.  Willy Wonka and all those Gobstoppers!  Not to mention the little men who help run the factory.  Hmmm…Umpalumpas!  Oh God she was straying!

Well…what is the subject for tonight?

Her thoughts turned a little more melancholic as she sat thinking of Christmas seasons from years ago.  It has always been her favorite season of the year but not these last three years. There was and has been too much sadness in her life during these last few years.  When she stopped to think about it-it only brought tears to her eyes and made her heart ache almost beyond tolerance.  She wanted to forget everything and anything but that was impossible.  The sadness within her made her who she was-how can she be anyone else?

The moments have been filled with dark and light thoughts-sometimes gray ones. Then there were those very bright moments when she felt loved and special. Those moments have far outweighed the rest. These were the moments which have been the light at the end of the tunnel-a tunnel she was still traveling through.

She stopped her writing for a short while as she sat and remembered all.  Especially those memories filled with him. His heartbeat, his touch, his laughter-he was the only true love in her life.  Now, he was so far away-her heart broke each time she thought about it.  He was also in the same place.  Plans had been disturbed and side-tracked with things beyond the control of either one of them.  The plans have been revamped-step by step, as he says.  She was always on a see-saw-but always a see-saw filled with love.  He would be home soon-he said so therefore she believes.  She has to believe-it is what is left. He made her believe again…their time was coming.

Sighing heavily she went back to her writing-then she once more-she stopped.

Her mind went back in time to when she was a child.  It was Christmas Eve; the house was dark and warm.  She was under the covers anticipating Santa’s visit.  When she saw who actually left her toys on her bed-her small heart just stopped.  Mom and Dad were placing a new doll at the foot of her bed-then they left to leave more toys around the tree.  There was no Santa-it was a harsh reality for such a small child. 

It was then she started to question her faith in the unbelievable-her small world shaken. That particular memory did not make her flinch.  If anything she became more analytical-logical.  That became her shield in life.  She questioned everything! She always found an argument pro or con.  Her Dad always said she should have been an attorney.  She always found an answer.  Not always the best one but it always finished any argument or proved the point she was trying to make.  She laughed out loud.  Gawd those were some arguments they had.  They were just too much alike.  She missed him.

Yes, her parents never held her back.  She learned to respect the point of view of others.  She accepted change-not always easily but she did flow with it.  Mostly, she became an independent spirit.  She was always the strange one-her family called her the “rebel”-she wasn’t but that is the way it fell in her life.  Wild child is really what she was underneath all the outer pinning of what society would call proper. 

Even the broken nose a few years later resulting from a misunderstanding-was hidden by the proper phrases.

Wow, memory lane time.  She had to try to write-try to get her stride back. The keystrokes were swift but still she deleted all she wrote.  There was a missing spirit in her words.

All round the edge of her mind were echoes of past experiences, memories, wants-desires.  Just on the edge-waiting to come in from the shadows.  Dark things, nasty things then there were those that were sprinkled with light and love.  These were the ones she desperately wanted to come back to her.  It was difficult-beyond difficult.

They came back in pieces-like her writing. Fragmented; lacking substance-filled with fear or filled with wonder which quickly evaporates upon the light of day.  She felt she needed to redeem herself but the cost was high-maybe too high.  She felt she always had a gun to her head.  One wrong move and her existence would be wiped away.

She remembers well other times in the past feeling like this.  She remembers the loss, the loneliness.  It was the darkness that she could not escape then. Her soul was in constant pain-worse she lost the desire to live.  She did not want to visit that dark place again.  She was nearly lost-swallowed whole.

Echoes, that is all. Just echoes of things past and no shade of the future to be seen. These shades had life only if she allowed them to interfere with her present. The one echo-the only echo she needed was the one that lit the end of the tunnel.

She tried once again but it was useless. Her concentration was lost for the moment.  She needed to make a decision and chose a path; she can’t be a victim anymore.  She shut down the laptop.  She needed to clear her mind.  At least-for the moment, she is walking away from the shades of the past which still echoed in her mind.

©2011 december/cb

Tattered Fairy

As she was approached him with a measured slowness; she enjoyed seeing his reaction to her.  She could taste his skin through the air; heard his heartbeat.  She sensed his fear but yet she also felt his lust growing.  She let her arms drop; exposing her full breasts.  Taking her time; she bit her lower lip with anticipation.  Her short skirt barely; covering her soft mound as she walked.  Her scent now permeated the air. 

Wild haired and unkempt; she had him where she wanted; caught in that sling; his hands pinned above him.  The bindings were tight enough to hold him but did not cut him.  His clothing tattered; his skin slick from perspiration.  She could see his chest move with his breathing; she could hear his heart pound.  He with his eyes intent; watched her warily.  His hair wild from days of growth; she had him here underground for a few days.  He needed to be tamed so she could play with him.  She looked forward to this very much.  Her desire for him grew; she wondered if a human could tell just what kind of desire.

He had been hunting in the woods and it became dark; more quickly than he anticipated.  He decided to camp overnight; deep in the heart of the woods.  He knew of the local legends but then again-they were only legends.  Under the growing cover of darkness he gathered wood for a fire.  He became aware of the night noises growing louder.  The seemed to be screaming when the fire was brought to life as the wind picked up with a howl.  Shadows were darting back and forth; his guard went up. 

Suddenly she was there; outlined by the light of the fire.  Her eyes burning with anger as they pierced his.  Shrieks pierced the air sending waves of pain through his head.  Tears blurred his vision the pain was so intense.  Just as suddenly, the fire died and darkness enveloped the area.  His vision blurred; his hands sought his bow.  Stumbling forward, desperate to find a way away out of the woods; he became entangled in a net as the prey he first sought.   As he was reeled upward; the shrieks became louder sending shocks of fear through his mind while pain racked his body.

He watched her; his eyes no longer blurred by constant pain; dark eyes and dirty hair; sexy and dangerous.  He knew he was helpless where he was.  His hands immobilized; his heart started to pound inside his chest; his legs cramping from the time he had been standing.  He had been down here for days and he was feeling ragged; looked ragged as well judging from the condition of his clothes.  He barely had any on; his shirt was gone and little was left of his pants.  His body fought with the fear of the unknown and remembered pain.  Those thoughts vanished as he watched her approach; his body reacted without control; lust fought to take him over.  He could smell her scent - earthy female – damn it – his body was betraying him.

She allowed the bindings to lower him; giving him some relief in his legs.  As he slid on the wall slowly to the ground; she leaned in close – breathing in his scent.  Her tongue flicked out; licking his chest then slowly to his neck; as she lowered him.  Her breasts were firm but soft against his chest; their centers hardening as his skin slid over them.  His hands were still immobilized but she reached up to make sure he was secured.  Her breasts swayed closer to his face but not close enough.  His mouth watered as his desire increased; showing with a visual hardness.

 

 Running her fingernails against his skin, she watched his reactions; making mental notes.  Her hunger was starting to get the best of her.  Slowly, she moved to his side, observing him – touching him.  Deliberately and with great slowness; she trailed her finger down his arm; the side of his chest; circling his pectoral muscles.  She enjoyed the sight of his skin reacting; she continued along her lazy trial down his abdomen and along his inner thigh.  A wicked smile curved her lips as she achieved the desired effect.  Yes, she has a strong desire for this one.   

Her fingers were a sweet torture mixing with a slight fear of the unknown.  He was her prisoner; he could not retaliate and had to stay in one position as she examined him.  He breathed in her scent; woody and female.  Her breasts brushed against his skin; lust erupting through his pores each time.  Fire from her fingers branded him with every move.  Involuntary shaky breaths escaped him as she teased his chest; trailing down to his lower abdomen as she finally stopped at his inner thigh.  He felt himself stiffen with slight pain; he needed relief. 

Her eyes now were dark with lust as she watched his reactions.  She took her finger and softly sucked it; savoring his sweat as she thought about her need.  Biting her lower lip; she sucked her finger, wetting it well.  She smiled as she bent forward and rubbed her wet finger over his swollen head on his hardened phallic.  She was rewarded with his wetness; quickly she dropped her head and flicked her tongue over him; savoring his taste.  His gasp told her he was almost ready.

She stood in front of him feeling the waves of both heat and fear.  He was magnificent in his fear; extreme virility in his bodily reactions.  Her approach signaled heavier breathing from him; his eyes darkening.   Her huntress instincts becoming stronger as her lips closed over his sensitive nipple on his chest.  She felt his heart beat even stronger; his breathing turning into moans.  As she caught his aroused nipple in her teeth; her tongue played with it.  She did the same to the other; smiling as she enjoyed his arousal. 

An involuntary gasp escaped him; her finger teasing him almost drove him to release.  He was determined not to give in.  His fears had now become less as he realized that she was not in here to torture him for his life.  She was here for a torture but of another kind; a very erotic kind.  As her mouth surrounded his nipples; they became sensitive and hard-they drove him to higher more intense lust.  Involuntarily moaning as she bite him softly; he was helpless to defend himself; rape came into his mind.

Hearing his gasps; she knew he would do her bidding.  She controlled him now; with a determined push, she straightened up.  Looking at him up and down; lingering on his swollen member; she smiled and walked away from him.  Tomorrow will be another day.

© 2010 nov 25/cb