The day started out easy enough. The rain woke me with its incessant beating
against my bedroom window. It is just
another day of taking one breath after another-not life. I feel the warmth of my body but there is no
warmth beside me. I am alone.
The central heat kicked in again. It tells me that the night was chilly enough
for the computer to know that the humans within the house would be cold. Imagine that!
I wonder if we would survive without the computers in our lives. They seem to guide our daily moments in our
lives. Well, at least in mine it
does. Would I be able to survive without
it? I wonder…
With that thought in mind, I rose into the slightly cool air
and proceeded to dress. It helped to
feel the cool. At least, the lethargy
that gets to me everyday seems to leave me-if at least for a few moments. If I were to be honest with myself, it is not
lethargy-it is depression.
There was a time in my life where I just floated along in
life. It did not matter how I did
things. I always managed to get by. I was able to help others because it came
easy to me. I could find what I
needed-it seemed that all I needed to do was just reach out and there it
was. These days it does not happen as
often. Maybe, just maybe, I have stopped
believing in happy endings. Maybe I
have lost control of my own destiny.
I am just a vessel without direction. There was no need to hurry. No place to be, no appointments-worse-no one
to be with. These days are becoming a
way of life now.
©2011 november/cb
