The Light

She walked alone through the silent streets.  She was not in a hurry-there was nowhere for her to be.  She gazed at the houses with their merry lights-she thought maybe they would spark something inside her.  She felt nothing.  Even the cold of the night did nothing to move her inside.

She had done all she could-she tried-really tried.  She thought that fences could be mended-that she could forget the past and maybe they could too.  A few nights ago she found out many truths.  A memory was destroyed; something sacred to her.  It toppled like the tower in those tarot cards she always played with.   She was so tired-mentally-emotionally. 

The fog was starting to creep in.  The streets were not as friendly anymore.  The house lights in all their bright colors were dimmed with the fog.  She wrapped her light coat tighter about her body.  She should have worn a heavier one.  Still, she walked on.  There was no place for her to go.  What used to be a safe haven has now the feel of a tomb.  Belief has been slowly dying inside her.  A few nights ago, it took its last breath-without fanfare-it just-disappeared.  Since then she has been a walking zombie.  No feelings.

In the distance she saw a bright light.  She ran towards it-a woman with a glimmer of hope.  Maybe-just maybe-a small miracle was going to happen.  She neared it and through the fog-the light bravely cut through the fog.  She stopped and stared as a small tear ran down her face.  It was only a street light-only a street light.

© 2010 24 dec/cb

Tattered Fairy

As she was approached him with a measured slowness; she enjoyed seeing his reaction to her.  She could taste his skin through the air; heard his heartbeat.  She sensed his fear but yet she also felt his lust growing.  She let her arms drop; exposing her full breasts.  Taking her time; she bit her lower lip with anticipation.  Her short skirt barely; covering her soft mound as she walked.  Her scent now permeated the air. 

Wild haired and unkempt; she had him where she wanted; caught in that sling; his hands pinned above him.  The bindings were tight enough to hold him but did not cut him.  His clothing tattered; his skin slick from perspiration.  She could see his chest move with his breathing; she could hear his heart pound.  He with his eyes intent; watched her warily.  His hair wild from days of growth; she had him here underground for a few days.  He needed to be tamed so she could play with him.  She looked forward to this very much.  Her desire for him grew; she wondered if a human could tell just what kind of desire.

He had been hunting in the woods and it became dark; more quickly than he anticipated.  He decided to camp overnight; deep in the heart of the woods.  He knew of the local legends but then again-they were only legends.  Under the growing cover of darkness he gathered wood for a fire.  He became aware of the night noises growing louder.  The seemed to be screaming when the fire was brought to life as the wind picked up with a howl.  Shadows were darting back and forth; his guard went up. 

Suddenly she was there; outlined by the light of the fire.  Her eyes burning with anger as they pierced his.  Shrieks pierced the air sending waves of pain through his head.  Tears blurred his vision the pain was so intense.  Just as suddenly, the fire died and darkness enveloped the area.  His vision blurred; his hands sought his bow.  Stumbling forward, desperate to find a way away out of the woods; he became entangled in a net as the prey he first sought.   As he was reeled upward; the shrieks became louder sending shocks of fear through his mind while pain racked his body.

He watched her; his eyes no longer blurred by constant pain; dark eyes and dirty hair; sexy and dangerous.  He knew he was helpless where he was.  His hands immobilized; his heart started to pound inside his chest; his legs cramping from the time he had been standing.  He had been down here for days and he was feeling ragged; looked ragged as well judging from the condition of his clothes.  He barely had any on; his shirt was gone and little was left of his pants.  His body fought with the fear of the unknown and remembered pain.  Those thoughts vanished as he watched her approach; his body reacted without control; lust fought to take him over.  He could smell her scent - earthy female – damn it – his body was betraying him.

She allowed the bindings to lower him; giving him some relief in his legs.  As he slid on the wall slowly to the ground; she leaned in close – breathing in his scent.  Her tongue flicked out; licking his chest then slowly to his neck; as she lowered him.  Her breasts were firm but soft against his chest; their centers hardening as his skin slid over them.  His hands were still immobilized but she reached up to make sure he was secured.  Her breasts swayed closer to his face but not close enough.  His mouth watered as his desire increased; showing with a visual hardness.

 

 Running her fingernails against his skin, she watched his reactions; making mental notes.  Her hunger was starting to get the best of her.  Slowly, she moved to his side, observing him – touching him.  Deliberately and with great slowness; she trailed her finger down his arm; the side of his chest; circling his pectoral muscles.  She enjoyed the sight of his skin reacting; she continued along her lazy trial down his abdomen and along his inner thigh.  A wicked smile curved her lips as she achieved the desired effect.  Yes, she has a strong desire for this one.   

Her fingers were a sweet torture mixing with a slight fear of the unknown.  He was her prisoner; he could not retaliate and had to stay in one position as she examined him.  He breathed in her scent; woody and female.  Her breasts brushed against his skin; lust erupting through his pores each time.  Fire from her fingers branded him with every move.  Involuntary shaky breaths escaped him as she teased his chest; trailing down to his lower abdomen as she finally stopped at his inner thigh.  He felt himself stiffen with slight pain; he needed relief. 

Her eyes now were dark with lust as she watched his reactions.  She took her finger and softly sucked it; savoring his sweat as she thought about her need.  Biting her lower lip; she sucked her finger, wetting it well.  She smiled as she bent forward and rubbed her wet finger over his swollen head on his hardened phallic.  She was rewarded with his wetness; quickly she dropped her head and flicked her tongue over him; savoring his taste.  His gasp told her he was almost ready.

She stood in front of him feeling the waves of both heat and fear.  He was magnificent in his fear; extreme virility in his bodily reactions.  Her approach signaled heavier breathing from him; his eyes darkening.   Her huntress instincts becoming stronger as her lips closed over his sensitive nipple on his chest.  She felt his heart beat even stronger; his breathing turning into moans.  As she caught his aroused nipple in her teeth; her tongue played with it.  She did the same to the other; smiling as she enjoyed his arousal. 

An involuntary gasp escaped him; her finger teasing him almost drove him to release.  He was determined not to give in.  His fears had now become less as he realized that she was not in here to torture him for his life.  She was here for a torture but of another kind; a very erotic kind.  As her mouth surrounded his nipples; they became sensitive and hard-they drove him to higher more intense lust.  Involuntarily moaning as she bite him softly; he was helpless to defend himself; rape came into his mind.

Hearing his gasps; she knew he would do her bidding.  She controlled him now; with a determined push, she straightened up.  Looking at him up and down; lingering on his swollen member; she smiled and walked away from him.  Tomorrow will be another day.

© 2010 nov 25/cb

Left Behind

The sky above her is now shadowed in darkness

The warmth of the sun is now gone

There is a chill in the air

It is safe to come out and take a chance

The light reflected by the moon is bright

Tree limbs now alive with shadowed light

She sees the stars-light from the distant past

Long forgotten destroyed planets splayed against the sky

There is a distant memory – just remembered

Of a girl with a dream – one who wished upon a star

Whose eyes were once bright with wonder and awe

With a desire for life and passion filling her every moment

Another memory takes its place

Darkness consuming the earth in a flash

Ships taking those who could leave away from disaster

An exclusive club; one she did not belong to

Left behind to fend for herself; frantic and alone

She managed for a short time until she met him

Together they forged a new life

In the now wasted earth

Living in darkness; in the bowels of the earth

The only safe place for those left behind

They grew accustomed to the lack of light

A necessity of the new life

Hair that was golden and filled with light

Is now gnarled and grey, full of knots

Her skin no longer soft but leathery and tight

Her days of youth long gone

Throwing out the bones that were his

His flesh long gone from them

His death was her survival

She survived as she never thought she could

The light of day fast approaching

She crawls back into the earth

Reminding her that once again

She was left behind

© 2010 nov 14/cb

Tangled

We had been dancing around each other for months with so many teasing words; insinuating glances-soft touches.  We really started out as friends but the feel of everything was just so charged with sensual energy.   Yes, I know he is married.  He told me many times he would never cheat on his wife but isn’t that what we have been doing?  Although we never brought it to physical passion, the words carried the images clearly.  Tonight, yes tonight, I will put this to bed literally.  She continued in her musings while she planned her outfit for the evening.  Yes, tonight the seduction will finally be realized.

He has thought about her all day.  She is a distraction at work and has been for months.  His co-workers would glance at him when they thought he was not looking...but he knew.  He felt the heat.  He needed to remind himself that he was married.  He loves his wife.  After all these years-he loves her still. She was his other half.  Comfortable was the word which came to mind.  His body betrayed his thoughts and left his emotions in turmoil; she was young and fresh; her skin smooth, her smile held promises and her eyes....yes her eyes.  She awakened lust he thought long dead.  She was not his wife and the word “comfortable” was not the word he associated with her.  He tried to concentrate on his work.  He was meeting with her tonight for dinner.  He felt an odd excitement.  She said she had a surprise.  His mind wanders a bit as his body felt warmer than usual.  He would have to wait a while to be able to stand.

As she dressed with care her thoughts recalled all the meetings from the past months.  All the tender holding of her hand in his; his dark eyes growing darker with lust; his barely contained control.  Yes, it was barely contained.  She smiled at herself as she inspected her outfit in the mirror.  Her lingerie accentuated her figure.  Pretty lace and satin but she felt a wicked need to forgo undergarments.  Yes, to completely seduce him she would have to be completely wanton.  She dropped the garments and gave herself a very critical view.  Yes, she had the firm body of the young woman she is; soft skin; full breasts.  She had a body made for sex-pure sex.  How can he resist?  A wicked smile crossed her face as she thought - not tonight!

His day finally finished and with a certain amount of guilt; he called his wife.  The lies were starting to come easier as he told her he would be home late; a business dinner with a client.  She had wished him good luck and she would not wait up as she knew he would be late.  Though he felt a little guilty he was filled with sexual excitement.  He could lie to himself all he wanted but the truth was that he wanted to do more than just dance with her.  She made him remember his youth.  He felt himself growing harder.

She stood at the entrance of the hotel restaurant as her eyes searched for him.  She found him as he stood up by the table reserved for them.  Her eyes connected to his and the world became a cocoon for the two of them only.  While she felt the eyes of others on her as she slowly crossed the room; it was his eyes and the lust she saw building there that drew her on. 

His breath stopped for a moment when she entered the room.  She was beautiful and sexy in her black dress.  Her movements across the room were as sensual as a cat in heat.  Her hair framed her face perfectly falling on her shoulders; her eyes filled with that light he loved and her lips-full and needing to be kissed.  Yes, she brought out the animal in him.

He normally did not drink-especially with her around him but tonight was a crazy night.  He could feel it.  It was the way she looked at him, touched him-she was drawing him into her more and more.  His wife becoming tucked away in his mind more and more as the evening progressed.  The wine flowed freely mixing with the scent of her perfume and soft laughter.  Escaping the dining area they somehow they made it to the room upstairs.  He held her hand gently; gave her a soft kiss on her cheek then opened the door to the suite.  He kept his eyes only on her eyes.  He feared to look anywhere else less he lose control.

As he held her hand, she was getting frustrated.  All the flirting and touching did not seem to have an effect of any kind.  He was still the same gentle man who was driving her mad with desire.  She will have to do something drastic soon before he decides to escape...again!  She had managed to un-tuck his shirt from his trousers. His face was flushed from all the wine plus she felt his hardness jump when she “accidently” brushed his trousers.  Yes, her frustrations will be answered soon.

He was in an upheaval; his mind was starting to clear.  His eyes could not believe what was in front of him.  She was even more beautiful when she was aroused.  His shirt became un-tucked somewhere along the line but he did not mind; it was the electric touch of her hand as she brushed his stiffening manhood.  Her bare shoulders drew him as did her hard nipples showing through her dress.  How he wanted to just reach out and devour her with passionate kisses.  If he had the courage he would do more-much more.

She decided to press closer; to let him feel her hot skin and her desire for him.  She moved closer and with each step he moved back.  He finally reached the wall and could not move anymore.  She kept coming-getting closer.  She reached out and placed her hands on his chest; slowly unbuttoning his white shirt.  His breathing was now starting to become a little heavier and she felt his heartbeat in his chest underneath her hands.  Her fingers caressed his nipples; she was pleased to see his reaction.  As she placed a soft kiss over his heart; his hand stroked her hair.  As she looks up, their eyes meet in a smoldering glance; she places a kiss with a gentle bite on the side of his neck.

His heart started to pound heavily in his chest as she walked closer and closer.  He backed away with each step; she finally had him against the wall; nowhere else to go.  As he felt his shirt open and the softness of her hands on his skin; he breathed in deeply of her perfume while he stroked her hair. 

He heard himself groan with pleasure; chasing away the last shadows of thoughts of his wife; as he felt her teeth on his neck.  His hands now had a will of their own as his arms wrapped themselves around her.  The feel of her skin was the softest he had felt in a very long time.  The feel of her tongue on his neck made him hot and filled with lust. 

She stepped away for a moment; in that moment the night was sealed.  She lifted her arms and untied the top of her dress; as it uncovered her body; her perfect breasts were revealed.  No longer just an illusion; his eyes took in her every detail; especially when she let the rest of the dress drop to the floor; nothing was hidden anymore.  He no longer resisted; he was tangled in her spell.

© 2010 nov 6/cb

Diary date November 7:

It’s Mom’s birthday and she wants to forget.  Forget that she had a life and that she still has one.  Forget the 60 years or so of marriage which is now dead and buried with Dad.  Forget the family she raised, cried over and sent onward into adulthood.  Yes, she wants to forget.

She has been in tears, semi-tears-silent sobs.  I am helpless in this as there is nothing I can do to make her feel better.  Celebrating her wonder-filled life has no impact on her.  The worst thing-not one person has even called her to even say hello!

Mom died the day Dad died.  She has become a walking zombie.  The worse thing is that her precious children-the favorite ones-have her buried in life.  They come by the house and leave with things.  Taking without asking or taking with pressure.  Mom is not strong enough to say no.  She thinks that if she says no...they will not come again. 

The truth is that they will not come anyway.  It is an obligation.  Someone once asked me why I stayed.  I am not her favorite-I was Dad’s.  I have put up with a lot of meanness and petty anger from her.  In a way-I am Cinderella in my own parent’s home.

I stay because she needs me...and she does not realize it.

Happy Birthday Mom...i know you cannot hear me nor want to but Happy Birthday.

© 2010 NOV 7/cb

spawn

painful and swollen is my belly


filled with the spawn of the evil lord


my swollen breasts dripping acid tainted milk


sweat is streaming down my face







animal wimpers coming from my throat


heavy with desire to be rid of this malignancy


pain racking my entire body along with heavy panting


watching the waves of birth rolling on my body







small fingers with pointed claws ripping from the inside


eager to see the light of the world waiting for it


no - not the world but the darkness of the night


where the moon rules and fire burns







feral growls now erupt from a throat no longer my own


forgotten are innocent dreams


my eyes are now clouded over - red rimmed


obedient to one will; it is not my own

 



my moral fiber destroyed long ago


night is wrapping itself around me


from far away there is a howl


my mind is now lost







darkness swells and bursting forth


my festered womb no longer can abide


torrid hatred and pus spews forth


feeding the ground below with my spawn









© 2010 October 28/cb

A Passing Thought

Her eyes filled with tears as the pain in her heart started up again. She scanned the crowd around her. She saw some familiar faces but she did not see the ones she expected. There was quietness in the air around her. She closed her eyes for a moment...




1910 was the year she came into this world. Electricity was an exciting thing in her small town – along with the automobile and telephone! How she laughed as she remembered how she waited with anticipation to hear the operator to let the family know they had a call waiting! She clearly heard the rattle of the automobiles of the day – nothing like the autos of today but it was an exciting time! She watched the children play and wished she could play too.



Her Mama and Papa were always strict with her – making her observe the decorum of the day. She often wondered how it would feel not to have to always be so prim and proper. She was a spoiled princess to her parents. They provided as much as they could for her. Life was always wonderful and filled with wonderful things. She was scheduled to take a European trip the spring following her graduation. It was October when she found Mama crying in the garden. Papa was nowhere to be seen. She was confused and asked where he was but Mama just hugged her – telling her that they would be alright. Some things may change but they would be alright. She later learned that that day was called Black Tuesday – the year was 1929. The days of the family wealth ended on that day – and the life of her Papa. She was so young then. Barely 19 years old! She must admit that she was no raving beauty – not even as a young woman. She did not have a dowry any longer or any suitors. At the time life looked very bleak. Her life change forever that day.



Softly sighing she opened her eyes again. The quiet in the air was still there but it felt just a little warmer than before. The light was soft, urging her to close her eyes...



Time went by and she got her wish! She learned how to walk and run without all the niceties of society. Her chaperone was her Mama. The fine house was gone and so were the servants. She learned to turn her skills of embroidery into a business. The ten years of the Great Depression, as it became known, flew by, she emerged a grown woman. Papa would have been amazed – Mama still had trouble with the change in their circumstances but she did as all in her position did; she accepted with grace what was handed to her, still dreaming of the old days. Mama still waited for Papa to come home. She finally joined him just before the end of the Depression. Walking away from their gravesite, she now knew she was really alone.



It was a few years later that she met Henri. He was such a nice and decent man. Her heart did not run away with her as with so many other younger women at the time. She was now 38 – considered an “Old Maid” but she was a woman with a business and a sharp mind. She knew her worth and she was careful. Henri was from an old family of European decent – German. He had the old world manners and no vices that she knew of. Their courtship lasted 2 years and they set a date for the wedding. Time had taken care of any fears and they grew to love each other deeply. Life had different plans. Henri had to take care of family issues in Germany. It was 1940 and Jews were not very welcome in Germany. Henri did not make it back to the States. She learned of his fate through the American Embassy – a family connection who still kept in contact. She cried for many months when she thought she was alone. Life was not fair to her! She had his ring and the memories of their planned life together. That ring never left her finger – she never took it off.



The years flew by as work became her center. There was no time for any personal relationships. She did her duty with her family. Aunts, Uncles, cousins - they all received her attention. She knew she was talked about behind her back but that was alright. She had become accustomed to being called the Maiden Aunt.



She had taken a trip to Europe on the pretext of a vacation. She stopped in Berlin to try to find out more as to Henri’s fate. Her fears were confirmed what she was told years ago – he was taken by the Gestapo and never seen again. Her heart was torn apart knowing that she would never really know what happened to him. She cried herself to sleep for many nights after that trip. She vowed never to marry. Instead, she filled the large house that she and Henri were to have lived in, with antiques. She filled it with the things they talked about. It was not filled with children – they were never to be. A small tear fell from the corner of her eye as this memory filled her mind.



With the passing of time she was witness to more wars; Korea, Vietnam, the Middle East and more. She was in awe at the moon landings and the technology which came about. She saw the children of her cousins grow and begin lives of their own. The loss of a family was something she deeply regretted. How she wished that Henri was still with her!



In the last 30 years, she left the business in the hands of others as she had grown old. The large rambling house was now a memory. It was given to charity – a shelter for abused women and children. She now lived in a penthouse – secluded from the majority of society. Her only contact was her maid of many years of service and the occasional visit from the many nieces and nephews. She preferred the quiet life and did not miss the business world as much as she thought she would.



Her eyes fluttered open – the room was now darkening and there were some sounds which she could not recognize. She was tired; just a few more moments of sleep would not harm her…



Her personal physician pronounced her dead on October 1, 2010. She was 100 years old. The family gathered, as families do, at the death of a loved one. The greed in the room was palatable as they anticipated the millions to be inherited. She did not disappoint them. Her money was left to charity – every cent. Her funeral was a sad affair – though her death was published – it was a private affair with little mourners in attendance.



She watched from a distance. No one was here to mourn her – no one that mattered to her. It was a small crowd of business associates and some family members. It was good that her fortune was left to those who needed. She had made the right choice. She heard her name whispered. Henri!! He looked the same; just as she remembered him. She took his hand as the sunlight filtered through the clouds. She left her life behind with the mourners at the gravesite; it was just a passing thought.





© 2010 October 24/cb

Bits'n Pieces of Used Things

Today has been a day of so many hurried changes!

After about 15 months of unemployment - I have work again!

Yes, I am very happy as it is what I was searching for.

Now - my changes today kinda have to do with that work tomorrow.

Today - I took the car I bought LAST Saturday

and

bought a different car.

Yes - crazy huh?  well it has a saga.

Last Saturday, I bought a 2001 Ford Taurus SE.

Loaded and pristine!

I drove it that day for about 2 hours, left it alone for a day sitting in the driveway.

Monday came about and yes, you guessed it.

No ignition!!

To me it sounded like the alternator but it could be a dead battery.

Since the battery was new - doubtful!

However, I called the dealer and the owner himself came to my rescue.

The car started up and as instructed, I let it run to charge the battery.

Now remember, it is a new battery.

Next morning, I expected that pretty motor purr...

Nada..zip..nothing!  Not even the ticking of an alternator going bad!

So, once again, here comes the owner but he brought with him 

the mechanics and off they went with my car.

Three days later, I have the car.  The motor performing beautifully!

Since the car leaked a HUGE oil slick - he changed the master cylinder.

Just to be safe.

Checked the electrical system - just to be safe.

I ran the car all over the place. Freeway and street driving.

Parked it but in reverse to check for that oil slick again.

Yes, I have been known to actually use my head! lol!

Saturday morning - once again - it did not start.

This time, the owner showed with 3 mechanics.

The car would not start despite all the best efforts.   Now I am starting to stress.

I made a list:

As I was driving the night before one of the belts was starting to go.

Yes, the horrible cricket sound just got embarrassingly louder and louder!

The dash lights only lit up half way along with the lights for the gearbox.

Part of the door fell off - a cosmetic thing.

Now, I think what is really happening with the car - ignition issues connected with the alarm system.

*sigh*

So, the owner could not tow the car away as his tow service was not available.

Instead, today - Sunday, they picked me up

and

I was presented with a newer car.

2009 VW New Beetle.

No - not a turbo but still it is a car I am familiar with.

It is cute and very bright YELLOW!

Black leather interior and an awesome sound system.

A 5 Speed!!  Yeah!!!!

My inner demon is coming out!

The most important thing for me was that I had bought from a very ethical dealer.

In California, we do not have lemon laws.

We can return a car within 2 days - provided we purchase that option at signing.

Something I did not do as I did not anticipate this saga at all.

If the car had issues, you better have purchased the extended warranty and deal with the expenses.

psst...i did buy the warranty but the dealer decided to play very nice!

I was very lucky and I am counting my blessings.

Now, I can rest and not stress.

The old car will be gone tomorrow when they pick it up with the tow truck

and

most importantly, while I am at work.

;)

*here is where i should put a pic...but i don't have one!*

Now, time to pick out my outfit for tomorrow! :D