It’s Mom’s birthday and she wants to forget. Forget that she had a life and that she still has one. Forget the 60 years or so of marriage which is now dead and buried with Dad. Forget the family she raised, cried over and sent onward into adulthood. Yes, she wants to forget.
She has been in tears, semi-tears-silent sobs. I am helpless in this as there is nothing I can do to make her feel better. Celebrating her wonder-filled life has no impact on her. The worst thing-not one person has even called her to even say hello!
Mom died the day Dad died. She has become a walking zombie. The worse thing is that her precious children-the favorite ones-have her buried in life. They come by the house and leave with things. Taking without asking or taking with pressure. Mom is not strong enough to say no. She thinks that if she says no...they will not come again.
The truth is that they will not come anyway. It is an obligation. Someone once asked me why I stayed. I am not her favorite-I was Dad’s. I have put up with a lot of meanness and petty anger from her. In a way-I am Cinderella in my own parent’s home.
I stay because she needs me...and she does not realize it.
Happy Birthday Mom...i know you cannot hear me nor want to but Happy Birthday.
© 2010 NOV 7/cb
2 comments:
This just breaks my heart Maria ...
Hugging you ... don't ever under estimate the love you have for your Mom. I hope one day soon she will come to know the truth and realise your love.
xo
oh suzy...you know i cried writing this.
thank you for feeling this...
xoxo
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