Empty Promises

echoing sentiments felt deeply within my soul
the old year passes-the new one dawns

years of promises made to myself
many ending without further thought

finally burdens are lifted liberating me
light has allowed my wings to grow

a new life awaits-no more empty promises
away I fly to a future unknown

MSM ©Dec 31, 2014

Knocking on Heaven’s Door

Knocking on Heaven’s Door            

Runny noses and tears on my face

Painful scratches from the cats

Falling due to my own clumsiness

Breathing in the smoggy air

Feeling the heat of the day

Wishing for the cold weather to start

The taste of food that is yummy

And that taste that is so foul your stomach rebels

The memories which linger longer than you like

Anticipating that first kiss

This was not what you thought it would be

Until years later when you meet the love of your life

The sound of that virile voice

Quickening my pulse

As touching brings me full circle

Bringing forth a new life

Getting fat and lumpy

Hearing those first wonderful sounds

It is the feeling of emotions

The daily wave of joy and sadness

The occasional anger which stays or leaves

The rush of emotions

As politics are discussed

Debates won and lost

Meeting different people

Adjusting to different mentalities

Enjoying the experience of new cultures

They say that heaven is perfect

No couples, partners or individual love

No human touches-no sex

That is not my idea of heaven

Why would I want to not feel anything again

That is called death

Heaven is here-right on my doorstep

It is here on earth

Where my humanity is

This is where I will stay

Until my time is up

Until my humanity dies

Do not bury me but allow me to fly

My ashes spreading across the land and sea

Now just let me fly

©MSM October 2014

Song Bird

The songbirds are at it again

Singing only the way that they can

They sing of happiness as I can detect no sadness

They sing of love as they are responding to each other

It seems that my life is like this now - singing all the time

Not filled with any sorrow or pain or regrets

But a song which fills my soul and comes from the heart

It is a song of love - of happiness

© cb-may 2012

Sometimes

Sometimes all I need
Is the warmth of your hand


Sometimes all I need
Is the sound of your laughter


Sometimes-just sometimes
I just need to hear some tenderness


Sometimes I just like you
Most of the time-I love you


2012 feb 23/cb

Whispers

Names are whispered softly in the darkness

Such tenderness unabashed with a love so true

The heart pounds like the waves crashing upon the shore

They vibrate and stir my very soul

It answers in kind to that whisper so tender

Reaching a crescendo ending in a roar

No games are played here in this twilight

It takes but a moment for arousal between us

A soft breath, a tender touch lingering upon the skin

My name escapes your lips as you meet the skin of my neck

Murmuring endearments; gestures of love

A soft kiss turning carnivorous with lust

A soft sigh escapes me growing into louder groans

As soft caresses are placed upon your head

Soon it is my nails digging into your skin

Our eyes smoky with desire; lips bitten with force

A fire igniting from ashes long thought dead

Scorching both of our skins; assailing our senses

There is a magic in our touch which propels us forward

Deeper into each other with more than just the physical

It is a mystic ritual performed at will

The names whispered are those of yours my love; that of mine

As we are entwined within one another

It can be no other way

It is the last night of an old year

And the dawn of the new one

A promise of things to come

Dec 2011/cb

Left Behind

The sky above her is now shadowed in darkness

The warmth of the sun is now gone

There is a chill in the air

It is safe to come out and take a chance

The light reflected by the moon is bright

Tree limbs now alive with shadowed light

She sees the stars-light from the distant past

Long forgotten destroyed planets splayed against the sky

There is a distant memory – just remembered

Of a girl with a dream – one who wished upon a star

Whose eyes were once bright with wonder and awe

With a desire for life and passion filling her every moment

Another memory takes its place

Darkness consuming the earth in a flash

Ships taking those who could leave away from disaster

An exclusive club; one she did not belong to

Left behind to fend for herself; frantic and alone

She managed for a short time until she met him

Together they forged a new life

In the now wasted earth

Living in darkness; in the bowels of the earth

The only safe place for those left behind

They grew accustomed to the lack of light

A necessity of the new life

Hair that was golden and filled with light

Is now gnarled and grey, full of knots

Her skin no longer soft but leathery and tight

Her days of youth long gone

Throwing out the bones that were his

His flesh long gone from them

His death was her survival

She survived as she never thought she could

The light of day fast approaching

She crawls back into the earth

Reminding her that once again

She was left behind

© 2010 nov 14/cb

A Passing Thought

Her eyes filled with tears as the pain in her heart started up again. She scanned the crowd around her. She saw some familiar faces but she did not see the ones she expected. There was quietness in the air around her. She closed her eyes for a moment...




1910 was the year she came into this world. Electricity was an exciting thing in her small town – along with the automobile and telephone! How she laughed as she remembered how she waited with anticipation to hear the operator to let the family know they had a call waiting! She clearly heard the rattle of the automobiles of the day – nothing like the autos of today but it was an exciting time! She watched the children play and wished she could play too.



Her Mama and Papa were always strict with her – making her observe the decorum of the day. She often wondered how it would feel not to have to always be so prim and proper. She was a spoiled princess to her parents. They provided as much as they could for her. Life was always wonderful and filled with wonderful things. She was scheduled to take a European trip the spring following her graduation. It was October when she found Mama crying in the garden. Papa was nowhere to be seen. She was confused and asked where he was but Mama just hugged her – telling her that they would be alright. Some things may change but they would be alright. She later learned that that day was called Black Tuesday – the year was 1929. The days of the family wealth ended on that day – and the life of her Papa. She was so young then. Barely 19 years old! She must admit that she was no raving beauty – not even as a young woman. She did not have a dowry any longer or any suitors. At the time life looked very bleak. Her life change forever that day.



Softly sighing she opened her eyes again. The quiet in the air was still there but it felt just a little warmer than before. The light was soft, urging her to close her eyes...



Time went by and she got her wish! She learned how to walk and run without all the niceties of society. Her chaperone was her Mama. The fine house was gone and so were the servants. She learned to turn her skills of embroidery into a business. The ten years of the Great Depression, as it became known, flew by, she emerged a grown woman. Papa would have been amazed – Mama still had trouble with the change in their circumstances but she did as all in her position did; she accepted with grace what was handed to her, still dreaming of the old days. Mama still waited for Papa to come home. She finally joined him just before the end of the Depression. Walking away from their gravesite, she now knew she was really alone.



It was a few years later that she met Henri. He was such a nice and decent man. Her heart did not run away with her as with so many other younger women at the time. She was now 38 – considered an “Old Maid” but she was a woman with a business and a sharp mind. She knew her worth and she was careful. Henri was from an old family of European decent – German. He had the old world manners and no vices that she knew of. Their courtship lasted 2 years and they set a date for the wedding. Time had taken care of any fears and they grew to love each other deeply. Life had different plans. Henri had to take care of family issues in Germany. It was 1940 and Jews were not very welcome in Germany. Henri did not make it back to the States. She learned of his fate through the American Embassy – a family connection who still kept in contact. She cried for many months when she thought she was alone. Life was not fair to her! She had his ring and the memories of their planned life together. That ring never left her finger – she never took it off.



The years flew by as work became her center. There was no time for any personal relationships. She did her duty with her family. Aunts, Uncles, cousins - they all received her attention. She knew she was talked about behind her back but that was alright. She had become accustomed to being called the Maiden Aunt.



She had taken a trip to Europe on the pretext of a vacation. She stopped in Berlin to try to find out more as to Henri’s fate. Her fears were confirmed what she was told years ago – he was taken by the Gestapo and never seen again. Her heart was torn apart knowing that she would never really know what happened to him. She cried herself to sleep for many nights after that trip. She vowed never to marry. Instead, she filled the large house that she and Henri were to have lived in, with antiques. She filled it with the things they talked about. It was not filled with children – they were never to be. A small tear fell from the corner of her eye as this memory filled her mind.



With the passing of time she was witness to more wars; Korea, Vietnam, the Middle East and more. She was in awe at the moon landings and the technology which came about. She saw the children of her cousins grow and begin lives of their own. The loss of a family was something she deeply regretted. How she wished that Henri was still with her!



In the last 30 years, she left the business in the hands of others as she had grown old. The large rambling house was now a memory. It was given to charity – a shelter for abused women and children. She now lived in a penthouse – secluded from the majority of society. Her only contact was her maid of many years of service and the occasional visit from the many nieces and nephews. She preferred the quiet life and did not miss the business world as much as she thought she would.



Her eyes fluttered open – the room was now darkening and there were some sounds which she could not recognize. She was tired; just a few more moments of sleep would not harm her…



Her personal physician pronounced her dead on October 1, 2010. She was 100 years old. The family gathered, as families do, at the death of a loved one. The greed in the room was palatable as they anticipated the millions to be inherited. She did not disappoint them. Her money was left to charity – every cent. Her funeral was a sad affair – though her death was published – it was a private affair with little mourners in attendance.



She watched from a distance. No one was here to mourn her – no one that mattered to her. It was a small crowd of business associates and some family members. It was good that her fortune was left to those who needed. She had made the right choice. She heard her name whispered. Henri!! He looked the same; just as she remembered him. She took his hand as the sunlight filtered through the clouds. She left her life behind with the mourners at the gravesite; it was just a passing thought.





© 2010 October 24/cb

The Art of Living

My fear is not in the death of my fragile body

It is in the loss of my mind long before my body dies

As my body gives out-I want to remember!

I want to remember that moment of my birth

When I drew my first breath – feeling that shock of first awareness

My molecules at the most base level screaming  as they are torn apart

My strength growing with my joy of life – may I survive!

I want to age with the fluid grace of wrinkles and sagging skin

To finally die with dignity – without the disturbing prolonging of medical technology

I want my memories to be as varied- crystal clear-as my life was

Filled with the sadness, the happiness, the love and the disturbed

As I die - let me feel the pain of life as it flows out of me

In the end – my life should be a canvas

Where one can go and sit and wonder with awe

At the art of living – through the process of dying

© 2010 16 august/cb

Random Shit

Funny how the mind works

You think you have found a solution

Wham!  It turns out it was not a solution at all!

It only made matters worse

People talking shit-comments-stupidities

The news report negativity-wars-crimes-killings

Of course on the other side we have-politics!

Bla bla bla - just random shit on the airwaves

Advertisements getting creative

Talking chocolate being made to be eaten

Stuffed with talking pretzels inside

Brainwashing going on-some more random shit

City noises-buses-taxis horns blowing

Playground sounds rising from asphalt jungles

Tough guys growing up or dying on the streets

Parents worry about the random shit out there

Friends turning lovers then back again

Shenanigans all around-just lies and no truths

Seems that is what people want

There you go-that random shit hits again

The plain truth is that random shit just keeps growing

Piles here-piles there-fertilizer for the mind

The world out there is a pasture

Weeds, flowers, plants-just random shit

© 2010 16 august/cb